It’s been a fun couple of weeks over on The Penningtons Blog!
In one post, I got to take their 5-way bra for a spin and see how it worked with five different outfits to suit each way.
And then in my latest post, I got to style one piece, three ways — perfect for when you’re packing light on vacation!
I recently shared a Daily Mail article on my Facebook page, about how women are fat-shamed three times a day – a sad reality.
The outpouring of comments that I received truly touched me, because so many of you have dealt with being humiliated based on your sizes, just as I have in the past.
I was tormented by my peers in grade school. I endured teasing, name calling, cow noises… You name it. And when I look back, the saddest part of it all was the brave face I had to show till I got home and could cry into my pillow.
I thought the bullying of my school days was behind me, until coincidentally, last night I was publicly, and directly FAT SHAMED, while enjoying one of my favourite unhealthy treats, poutine; and for those of you who aren’t familiar, it’s a sinful Quebec specialty, consisting of French fries smothered in gravy, and curd cheese – definitely not waistline friendly, but it’s my weakness. That and an ice cold Coke.
I posted about it on Facebook almost as soon as it happened, because I was just so taken aback by it that I felt an overwhelming need to share it with all of you.
As many of you know, I recently shared an article on fat shaming, and your wonderful, and heartbreaking comments blew me away and really touched my heart. I haven’t been TRULY made fun of in many years, and just tonight, while eating out (poutine of all things) a drunk jerk made waddling and fat belly gestures at me and yelled out “oh yeah, eat that poutine” (in French). I thought I would have been less humiliated than I was, in all honesty, and while I’m not upset, I was really embarrassed, and felt like finishing my food in my car. I didn’t, but the fact that I thought about going to hide to finish my meal makes me realize I still have a lot of work to do.
Just thought I would share…
It felt like elementary school all over again. That feeling of being mortified doesn’t change. Same anxious ball of stress in the pit of my stomach, same feeling of fighting back tears, same anger. I had forgotten what it felt like to be coldly, and deliberately humiliated. I’ve been embarrassed in other life situations, due to my size, the mortifying airplane seatbelt check, for one; and people have made comments or assumptions that have bothered me. “You really shouldn’t eat that”, or servers in restaurants asking me if I want Diet, when I odered a Coke – like, would you ask a skinny person that if she ordered it? Maybe, but when you ask me, I can feel your judgement as I say “no, a regular Coke, please”. Is it so unbelievable that I would want to treat myself to something that I love?
Now, I know that the server could have just been checking, to make sure she got my order right. And yes, it’s possible that it had nothing to do with my weight; but here’s the problem – fat shaming has now become so ingrained in people’s minds, that they do it unknowingly, without even realizing that they’ve been programmed to see us as weak, undisciplined, incompetent, and unworthy.
Big words, I know. And I’m sure my server had no idea how she was making me feel, and probably never thought of herself as someone who humiliated fat people, because society as a whole had told her that viewing me that way was normal.
The @#$hole last night, was doing it on purpose, his buddies snickering along with him, and I’m ashamed to admit it, but all I could do was look down and pretend I didn’t hear them.
Like is said,
I still WE STILL have a lot of work to do, because through years of humiliation, we’ve learned to just accept being laughed at; and I know we’ve probably all been the victims of our own imaginations before, but the double takes in the street for eating an ice cream cone, or when you can’t fit in the booth at a restaurant and the other patrons can’t help but steal a second glance at the fat girl trying to squeeze in, the walk of shame to a different table as people whisper amongst themselves, they’re real. That @#$hole in the street – he was real.
But we’re real too; and we deserve to be treated just like everybody else.
Although I’m disappointed in myself for not speaking up last night, I know that I’ve come a long way. The journey continues, and I’m so thankful to have all of you, my amazing followers, alongside me for the ride!
Should we really have to choose? Can we not soar above the rest and prove to ourselves that we are beautiful even though we don’t wear a size 0? It took me my whole life to realize that self-acceptance, or, FLIGHT, if you will, is indeed possible. You may be thinking – Flight? Seems like an odd way to put it… But when it all comes down to it, it makes sense, really. As plus size women, we’ve been kept down, low, grounded. Only in recent years has society become more accepting of the “fat girl” and even then, only to a certain extent. But I’ve seen the changes. They’re happening. I’ve heard so many people speaking out openly about how they like a woman with “meat on her bones” and they are admitting that not only do they find big women attractive, but many actually prefer us! Fashion has come an incredibly long way as well, with many designers now carrying plus size collections. Not to mention, a whole world of plus sized options just a click away, online. Clothes are being designed to be trendy, and to allow us to show off our voluptuous figures rather than hiding them under the dark, boxy silhouettes that used to be plus size clothing. We are being referred to more and more as stylish, sexy and hot, words which I used to fear would never be spoken in my direction.
Loving your body feels good. Really good. So claim it, ladies! We are fat! We are intelligent and we know what a healthy diet and active lifestyle consist of, whether we choose them or not. We are beautiful, desirable and loveable, and we don’t need to live our lives not believing it!!!
I’ve started this blog for many reasons, but mostly because I love fashion and through it, I have learned how to turn my bad days into good ones, my negative attitudes into positive ones and last but not least, the heads of others!!! So this is for all of you who, like me, sometimes struggle with loving what you see in the mirror. This is for all the ladies out there who have ever let the word “fat” hurt you. It is OUR word now, and we will carry it with us. We are each on our own journey. Whether your flight is waiting for takeoff or you’re cruising at peak altitude, let your spirits be lifted and show yourselves just how sexy, hot and beautiful you can be!!!