I love my body. I didn’t always, but this pasty white, jiggly mass of flesh and bones that is the vessel of my consciousness, we’re cool now.
It’s a good thing too, because this bod and I, are kind of stuck with each other. We may as well get along… After all, life is a lot easier when you’re in a mutually beneficial relationship, especially when it’s the one you share with yourself!
I used to avoid taking my body out to certain places. I didn’t want to be seen in public with it. I was ashamed. This hurt my body very much. It also hurt me. I began to resent it. I wished it looked better. I wished I had a different one.
I didn’t like eating in out because I would worry that my body might not fit into the booths. I worried that people would stare at us as we ate. I rarely went to places like the pool, or the beach. I couldn’t bear the thought of people seeing my body in a bathing suit.
I wanted to love it. I wanted to be able to look at my body and like what I saw, the same way everyone on TV and in magazines seemed to be able to. I just didn’t hadn’t yet realized that the answer wasn’t that I needed to change my body, but rather, I needed to change the way I saw it.
I started looking for beauty in the parts of my body I had convinced myself weren’t beautiful. I began looking, and I mean, really looking at it in the mirror and in photographs, and changing the language I used to describe it. I started feeding it the foods it liked without worrying about their calorie count. I stopped treating my body like it deserved to be constantly punished for looking different than the way the movie stars and magazines told me it should.
You see, I spent most of it telling myself how good I would look if only I had a better body, how I wished I could have somebody else’s— how much I hated it. The disassociation I made between my body and self became my reality. I separated myself from it as an act of self-preservation, and it took me all these years to get up the courage to apologize to my body for how badly I had treated it, and promise to it, that I would never let myself do that again.
So to you, I may just look like a fat girl on the beach, strutting around showing off my swim body in a floral bikini, and on the surface, you’d be right… But if you dig a little deeper, what you’ll really see, is the foundation of a newly rekindled relationship between a once very broken girl, and her body, that never was.
A big thank you to this bikini babe for these awesome shots!!! (Except for this one, which I can thank my mum for!)
Bikini, GabiFresh for Swimsuits For All – here
Sandals, ASOS – similar
Cover up, Zellers – old AF (Zellers doesn’t event exists anymore, haha)
The gorgeous Vanoue of The Curvy and Curly Closet decided to extend the festivities by adding this extra special challenge to allow us to continue celebrating this special occasion!
Please scroll down, all my English speaking beauties! A translation will follow!
Oui, le 16 du mois de juillet est déjà passé, mais ça ne veut rien dire quand nous fêtons toujours le 2ème anniversaire du French Curves Challenge !!!
La resplendissante Vanoue, de The Curvy and Curly Closet a prolongé les festivités en ajoutant ce challenge extra spéciale pour nous permettre de continuer à fêter l’occasion !
Le thème aujourd’hui: BIKINI !!!
L’été passé, je me suis retrouver dans mon premier bikini. Depuis ce jour, je me suis promis de ne jamais avoir honte d’en porter un.
Il y a quelques années que jamais je pourrais imaginer que j’allais être aussi confortable aujourd’hui, en publique, en train de montrer mon ventre, mes cuisses et mes fesses au monde, mais coucooouuu !!!
Je suis fabuleuse en bikini !!!
N’oubliez pas, vous pouvez decouvrir les contributions de toutes les autres merveilleuses French Curvettes ici !!!
Haut de maillot, Monif C. – ancien
Bas de maillot, Swimsuitsforall.com – ici
Haut à capuchon en maille, Addition Elle – similaire
And now for my Anglo readers!
Today’s theme: BIKINI!!!
Last summer I wore my first bikini since my childhood. Since that day, I’ve promised myself to never be ashamed to wear one.
A few years ago, I never would have fathomed feeling this comfortable in public, showing off my tummy, my thighs, and my butt to the world, but yoohooooo!!!
Here I am!!!
Totally fabulous in a bikini!!!
Don’t forget, you can discover the contributions of all the other marvelous French Curvettes here!!!
Bikini top, Monif C. – old
Bikini bottoms, Swimsuitsforall.com – here
Mesh hoodie, Addition Elle – similar