A little while ago I took a brief, unplanned blogging hiatus. I had been feeling extremely exhausted, I’d been sick, and I was also dealing with some stressful family stuff as well. I kept meaning to blog, and went to bed each night with the idea that tomorrow’s going to be the day, but no matter how much I tried to convince myself, I always just ended up putting it off because something inside of me just wouldn’t let me be productive.
That’s all I thought it was… Just me procrastinating, but when I look back on those couple of months, the reality was that I was having a bit of an anxiety induced melt down. I was still functioning— going about the motions, putting a brave face on, but inside I was at the point of breaking down.
I did my best to remember to keep up with those little self-care rituals that helped keep me sane. I cooked, cleaned, took care of my kids. I took bubble baths, got my nails done, but my struggle with blogging slowly began to weigh on me… I started resenting it, because I hated the feeling of having an obligation, even if it was self-imposed.
It’s strange because, I love being a blogger. Blogging is at the top of my list of self-care activities because it makes me feel good, from getting made up and dressed in beautiful clothes, right down to the writing process, which I find calming and therapeutic… So why was I running away from it!?
The answer: because I was in denial about what I was really running from. It was much simpler to tell myself that I was taking a nap instead of blogging, rather than taking it to avoid my own thoughts, not to mention that writing would have forced me to confront myself about how I was feeling. In that moment, my only defence mechanism was to flee my own brain altogether.
You may be wondering what all of this has to to with this dusty pink/blush coloured dress I’m wearing… It’s such a silly little thing, yet it’s all I can think of when I look at these photos… My nails don’t match it.
I had purchased it (as well as in another colour) from ASOS as an attempt to rekindle my blogging spirit. I remember being excited because I had gotten my nails done in the exact same pink to match. I never shot any blog pics though. Hell, I never even wore it, and my nails grew out. Still determined, I got my refill and asked for the exact same colour again! Dusty pink nails, take two, but again, I just couldn’t make myself get dressed for a shoot. Slowly, they grew out once more and I forgot about the dress.
At some point in May, I came out of this difficult period. I had blogging obligations and had no choice but to fulfill them. Once I started back at it, the anxiety was lifted. I remembered that this wasn’t some cruel form of punishment, but rather an activity that fills me with joy!
It felt like coming home, and I couldn’t believe that for a while there, I had even debated going ghost on my followers. I had felt unable to keep the blog up, but feared the imagined humiliation of actually formally excusing myself from the community and exposing myself as a failure who just couldn’t cut the mustard.
I’m glad I didn’t, because getting up every morning, getting dressed, and maintaining the dialogue with myself that blogging requires me to uphold was what helped bring me back; and my followers, your kind words upon my return were more uplifting than you can imagine! I have once again been given the gift of being reminded of just how much support I have through blogging, and the amazing body positive community.
So even though my manicure doesn’t match my dress, I wanted to wear it as a very personal symbol of the power we all have to give another person hope, encourage them when they feel hopeless, and raise them up when they’re feeling low, and also as a reminder that anxiety and mental illness are invisible.
Coming from a person who, in the moment, when things get tough, is very guarded, and tends to withdraw into herself, you may think someone looks fine. They may smile, engage in conversation and list all the right reasons for why they’ve been acting a little differently— I’m just tired, I’ve been sick, I’ve been busy, etcetera etcetera… But it can be next to impossible to notice when those reasons begin to spill over into something more debilitating.
I was fortunate that this was just a minor bout with anxiety brought on by temporary stressors, and solvable problems that pale in comparison to those of others, but not everyone is so lucky. Not everyone has an amazing support system, or are able to recognize when it’s time to seek professional help.
So, like this dress and my mismatched mani remind me, let me remind you to be kind, because your words can have more on an impact on a person’s life than you may ever realize. Remember that someone’s struggles may seem trivial to you, but are very real to that person, so be mindful. You can never truly know how someone is feeling inside, unless they are willing and able to express it, which I can tell you honestly, isn’t an easy thing to do.
Dress, ASOS Curve – here
Shoes, Aldo – here
Bag, Louis Vuitton – here
Necklace & Earrings, Walmart – old
As most of you know, I’m a Montreal girl, born and raised! I love my city, especially its rich history and diversity—a veritable melting pot of culture and language, and just an amazing place to call home!
The plus size community here however, has faced many obstacles. We are a group of people desperately in need of the unity it takes to raise each other up and support one another, so when I was asked to join the first annual Montreal + Fashion Week team as the official blogger I was, how you say, f*cking exciteddddd!!!
Led by the fabulous Emily Roy of the blog Entre Montréal et New York, and Nadine Moore of the plus size boutique Catapulp, and moi of course, Montreal + Fashion Week will be a celebration of plus size fashion, beauty, life and style, right here in my own beautiful city from May 20th-22nd.
I’ve been helping out behind the scenes, and was lucky enough to attend all three model castings, first in Quebec City, then Toronto, and finally wrapping up right here in Montreal. It was such a blast to see all those beautiful babes show us how it’s done!
With all that running around, I didn’t get a chance to do a post about what I wore, but luckily I managed to shoot my favourite look of the bunch this week!
This fly AF quilted gold number from Your Big Sister’s Closet was what I wore to the Quebec City casting.
Especially when accessorized with a little LV, some baubles from Aldo, and my chic Coach flats!
I hope to see all of you at Montreal + Fashion week! I’m really looking forward to meeting and mingling with my followers and plus size fashionistas, so be sure to get your tickets (here) before they’re gone, and come see me this May!!!
Be sure to stay tuned all this week and next, as I will be bringing you more info, special announcements and discussions about the event, as well as tips for making the most of your visit to Montreal if you’re coming from out of town!
In the meantime, don’t forget to use the #MTLplusFWstyle hashtag on social media for a chance to be featured on @montreal.plus.fashion.week’s Instagram!
Top, Your Big Sister’s Closet – similar
Jeans, Penningtons – here
Necklaces: Aldo – similar
Bag, Louis Vuitton – here
“That designer should be fired,” they said… “Not flattering at all,” they said… “Even the model looks unhappy to be wearing it,” they said… But what did Alysse Delassandro, designer (and said “unhappy” model) of the controversial Ready To Stare Convertible Cupcake Dress say…?
“Fuck you to flattering fat girl clothes,” and I couldn’t agree more!
I saw it on Facebook first, back around the time her holiday collection launched — the nasty comments, all because a designer dared to challenge society’s idea of what plus size fashion should be.
Even though I’ve learned not to be surprised by the closed-mindedness of people on the Internet, I couldn’t help but be a little bit shocked that so many plus size women themselves couldn’t see how empowering a statement this dress (which can also be worn as a skirt) truly was.
I get it though, I don’t feel this way personally, but I get it — we, as fat women, have fought so hard to wear form fitting clothes and be accepted by society, that the idea of wearing a piece that hides our curves seems scary — but it’s not.
In fact, it’s probably no more scary than the first time a fat woman wore a bodycon dress, which, newsflash — angry conformists everywhere probably had a problem with too!
What Alysse has done, is go up against the standard, which was once a controversy itself, and say, it’s time to forge further and conquer new territory in plus size fashion! It’s time to step out of these stagnant waters and allow ourselves to accept that we have a right to wear any style a thin person can, whether society deems it “flattering” or not!
All of that aside, I love this dress. I loved it even as my eyes were drawn down into vitriol being spewed in the comments section, and not just because I think everything Alysse touches turns to gaudy, yellow gold (in the most perfect possible sense, of course) but because it’s playful, bold, and one of the most couture plus size pieces I’ve seen this year.
So as it comes to a close, and we ready ourselves to stare 2016 in the face, I wish you all very happy holidays, as I prance through the snow in festive red, woven with gold, that, like its name suggests, looks good enough to eat!
Dress, Ready To Stare – here
Shoes, Shoes Of Prey, designed by me- design your own here
Necklace, Forever 21+ – old, similar
Shawl coat, Forever 21+ – old, similar
I recently had the privilege of collaborating with Society+ (formerly Cool Gal Blue) to bring you the Flight Of The Fat Girl Fall Haul!!!
This is my very first blogger collection, and I could I not be more thrilled to be working with the amazing babes over at Society+!!!
I think these pieces reflect my own personal style so perfectly, and the thought of seeing them on you lovelies is overwhelmingly squee-worthy for me! (No, like really! Pleeeeeease tag me in pics if you buy my pieces, because I need to see you!!!)
As you’ve come to expect from me, I like to be bold, take risks with my style, and a few leaves hitting the ground never stops me from rocking a short hemline!
This super chic, long sleeve T-shirt dress (which could also make a fab top, thrown over a great pair of leggings) is sooo me!!!
It’s simple, and great for layering, like I’ve done with this gorgeous, hooded, longline vest!
Longline vest, Society+ – here
Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here
Society+ Giveaway details – here
It’s time for the third, and final instalment of my Point Zero Curvy Mix and Match series!
I’ve taken 5 pieces from the new Point Zero Curvy line, and styled and remixed three looks in three days, one for work, weekend, and of course, today’s look — date night!!!
It’s without question, the most versatile piece in my closet right now, and whether it’s for work, on the weekend, or draped over the shoulders, out on a date, there is so much style packed into this one jacket, that it works with just about every look!
I’ve paired it with two pieces you may also recognize from the last two posts — these awesome, black shimmery pants that I wore in yesterday’s weekend post…
And this gorgeous embellished knit top, which I wore tucked in to my skirt, in Wednesday’s work look!
And while you can wear it zipped all the way down, I just love the sexy little peek-a-boo effect when left unzipped… Not to mention, it shows off the booty while remaining elegant and refined! Umm… #Winning!!!
It can be hard to imagine pieces in your wardrobe being dual, or even triple-purpose sometimes. We get so used to wearing outfits, well — as outfits (if that makes any sense), and we forget that when we have quality garments, with fabulous texture, detail, and bold styling, like the Point Zero Curvy collection, mixing and matching becomes a snap!
This concludes my three part series, but you can shop the Point Zero Curvy line at pointzero.ca or point-zero.com for international customers, as well as in store at retailers such as SexyPlus Clothing, in Mississauga, Ontario.
Some items have not been released yet, so keep your eyes open, and I’ll be sure to post links here, once they are!
Don’t forget to follow Point Zero on Facebook and Instagram @pointzeroclothing, and on their new Insta, just for us plus size babes, @pointzerocurvy, to keep up to date on their latest collections and promotions!
Top, pants, jacket, Point Zero Curvy – shop the collection here.
I’m telling you right now — this faux-fur MBLM vest from Penningtons is life itself.
It doesn’t even require an intro. It is the intro. It also happens to be the body, and the conclusion, because it’s… Just. That. Good.
It is, without a doubt, one of my most prized pieces this season!
To top off the look, some sexy heels and silver bling, and of course, a great pair of specs from Zenni Optical!
Vest, Penningtons – here
Jeans, Penningtons – here
Tee, Penningtons – here
Glasses, Zenni Optical – here
It’s the 16th of the month, y’all!!! Pour yourselves a glass of Chardonnay, grab yourselves a tasty baguette, and sit back and enjoy another fab French Curves post — the outfit photo challenge with the French touch, created by the splendid Vanoue of The Curvy and Curly Closet!
The theme this month: TOTAL WHITE LOOK!!!
As per usual, an English translation will follow!
Il est encore une fois le 16 du mois, alors versez-vous un bon verre de chardonnay, et procurez-vous une bonne baguette bien savoureuse, relaxez-vous et enjoy une autre édition fabuleuse du French Curves Challenge, crée par la splendide Vanoue de The Curvy and Curly Closet !
Le thème ce mois-ci: TOTAL LOOK BLANC !!!
Dans le défi du mois dernier, ne sachant pas ce que le thème de ce mois-ci serait, j’ai porté une magnifique robe blanche. Donc, quand le thème de ce mois a été annoncé, je me suis dit, oh oh !
En toute sincérité, Chastity Garner a vraiment frappé un coup de circuit avec cette collection ! Les vibes nautiques, les silhouettes décadents — elle a réussi, et tout ce que je peux dire c’est, OUIIIIIIIIII !!!
In last month’s challenge I wore a gorgeous white dress, not knowing what this month’s theme would be. So when this month’s theme was announced, I said, uh oh!
But then, a fashion miracle occurred!!! The GARNERSTYLE for Rebdolls capsule collection dropped, and all my worries just evaporated into thin air!
Pantalon, GARNERSTYLE pour Rebdolls – ici
Crop top, GARNERSTYLE pour Rebdolls- ici
Pochette, Aldo – ici
Chaussures, Shoes of Prey – ici
Pants, GARNERSTYLE for Rebdolls – here
Crop top, GARNERSTYLE for Rebdolls- here
Clutch, Aldo – here
Shoes, Shoes of Prey – here
There were some very strong opinions, but there was a definite winner!!!
All three outfits (minus shoes and accessories), Penningtons
As I stepped out a couple of weeks ago in my denim shorts, my teenage son sarcastically commented, “mum, are you wearing jorts?”
Jorts (shorts), Penningtons – similar
Top, Walmart – still available in store
Sandals, Penningtons – here
Dice ring, Ready To Stare – here
Clutch, Ted Baker – old
Dear woman who tried to shame my body today,
There are a few things I’d like to say to you — a few things that I think you need to know; and I will lace my words with an excessive amount of photos of my glorious bod in a hot pink, see-through dress and bright red bikini, because I think it would do you good to see more of the body you decided to pick apart on social media today.
As a blogger, in one of my weekly contributions to another blog, I was asking followers to help me pick between three outfits that I chose for an upcoming date night with my husband. I think I looked really cute in all of them, for the record — and, sometimes a girl just wants a little feedback!
I answered you so politely when you criticized body. I told you that “I love my belly, my big butt, and my cellulite, as does my hubby! They’re part of me — no need to hide them! 😊 It’s not about looking thinner. The beauty of body acceptance is learning to love our flaws! ❤️”
You’re welcome to disagree with my view points and clothing choices all you want, but never once did I mention anything about your thoughts on my outfits. I also didn’t get upset… In fact, I think I gave a pretty polite and friendly response that spoke only of how I wasn’t ashamed of my body parts that you seemed to feel weren’t attractive.
You, a plus size woman yourself, stated that you were entitled to your opinion, then proceeded to tell me that loving my body was a copout because I am too lazy to try to better myself and my health. (Really, you said it!)
When I, again very politely, explained that I am in very good health, and wished you would realize that your comment was judgemental and uncalled for, you said that I must not be as secure as I claim to be because I was being defensive and over-sensitive.
You went on to say that that you had balls, and stood by your opinion… And that I shouldn’t be a blogger if I didn’t like it — somehow believing that it is your right to police my body, call me names, be blatantly rude, and that, because I have a blog, I’m not supposed to call you on it.
Others jumped to my defence, but you attacked them too, and laughed at the whole situation, referring to a comment I had posted for someone else, explaining to them how taking back the word ‘fat’ had empowered me.
I politely excused myself from the conversation, stating that your perseverance was admirable, that you had so much potential, and I wished you could have used it to uplift your fellow women rather than tear them down.
Soon after, your comment was removed. Obviously nobody was in agreement with your insults disguised as opinions, and false sense of entitlement… So, my apologies if the events may seem a little out of sequence, because again, your comment was deleted, which took all of your, my, and everyone else’s carefully crafted rebuttals with it, leaving me with only my tear-filled (sarcasm, in case you didn’t pick up on that) memories to refer to. You are entitled to your opinion, let’s just get that out of the way so you don’t have to say it again, but I will not let you believe, when you attack my body and character then accuse me of being insecure when I respond, that I can’t see right through your smug facade, to a woman who is filled with self-doubt, insecurity, envy and fear.
I will also not allow you make me love myself any less than I did before reading your enlightening comments — in fact, they’ve made me love myself more! You see, when you show your true colours, and they’re dim, grey and muddy, they make mine shine much brighter.
What you thought would stop me really just propelled me forward, and reaffirmed how important my blogging truly is.
So what I’m really saying here, is thank you. Thank you for making me feel even more beautiful, secure, and important today.
I know your intention was to make yourself feel better by trying to bring me down, so I’m sorry (not sorry) that I couldn’t help, but I would gladly love to offer you a compliment if you ever decide to actually post a profile picture of yourself one day. I’m sure you have all kinds of beauty that you just don’t see when you look in the mirror.
And lastly, even though your attempts at hurting me failed miserably, I hope you come to understand that not everyone is as strong and confident as me. Not everyone will be able to take something wonderfully positive away from the experience of having a person try to publicly humiliate them; and not everyone will understand that your attempts at trashing their self-esteem, are really just projections of your own insecurities.
Bikini, Addition Elle – here