Life is all about taking risks, overcoming obstacles, and breaking through barriers… But when self-doubt starts seeping in through those little cracks that a lifetime of being ashamed of yourself has left behind, it can be much easier said than done.
I’m not saying this because I’m in the mood to dish out life advice, but because my self-doubting thoughts almost got the best of me last week, and I know that so many of you beautiful people struggle with your own body image too.
I receive comments from my followers all the time, about how much they wish they could have my confidence…
So, I really wanted to remind you all, that even the most confident, body positive people still have those moments when it’s hard to love themselves sometimes, and you are sooooo not alone on those days when you look in the mirror and feel like you’re just not good enough.
The confidence you see in my pictures didn’t happen overnight. It is an ongoing process, and I never want any of you to think that it is unattainable or unreachable in any way.
I woke up on the morning of my shoot. I had planned out my whole outfit. I had actually been really excited about it, because it had been a while since I wore something a little more risqué.
The look was made up of four of the most fabulous, sexy, and empowering pieces I own — a black, gold studded, bodycon mini dress from Stylzoo, a stunning chain headpiece from Ready To Stare, my amazing thigh high boots from SexyPlus, and the most incredible black satin bomber from SmartGlamour, with custom lettering.
I began berating myself for having ever thought I could pull off such a sexy look. Who am I? A thirty-something, fat wife and mother looking like a hooker trying to show someone a good time…?
I fat shamed myself. I slut shamed myself… Two things that I am so strongly opposed to, and yet there I was, staring at my own reflection, picking myself apart and telling myself that I didn’t deserve to feel sexy, and that showing off my body somehow made me less valuable. I almost didn’t leave the house.
Then I thought of my Stylzoo dress, and how hard I have fought to love my legs and belly, and feel comfortable showing them off.
I thought of my boots from SexyPlus, and how fierce they made me feel the moment I stepped out in these first pair of thigh-highs I had ever found to fit my legs.
I thought of my headpiece from Ready To Stare, and how rad as hell it is, and how much of a sexy goddess it makes me feel.
And I thought of my bomber from SmartGlamour, and how excited I was when I was able to select the words “FAT GIRL” in big gold letters, to be displayed across the back, because I’m fat and proud of who I am!
The thought of how I had come so far to finally accept my body —myself, and feel good in the clothes I love, came flooding back, washing the doubt into oblivion.
And I decided, fuck what I think people might say about me, my body, and how I choose to dress it! I’m not going to let my self-doubt get in the way of me wearing the stuff I love, just because I’m worried about anyone’s judgement!!!
I went out and did my shoot on a busy street in late afternoon, looking fly as hell; and I just wanted all of you to know that even when you see my pictures and think it looks easy, I do still struggle with self-confidence, and I don’t ever want any of you to feel alone in that!
The important thing to remember, and I hope I can be an example of it, is never to forget how far you’ve come — how hard you’ve worked toward self-acceptance, or how badly you want it. You deserve to love yourself, and that’s what will bring you back to reality — and that reality is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that YOU ARE WORTHY.
Dress, Stylzoo – here
Customizable Bomber Jacket, SmartGlamour – here
Headpiece, Ready To Stare – here
Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here
It’s been a minute since my last post… Mostly because it’s been too cold to shoot outdoors… But since things aren’t looking up anytime soon with regards to weather for us Montrealers… I decided that a bare-legged minidress was the way to go! That’s right!!! F&@% YOU WINTER!!!
And how does a bad B accessorize a minidress at -36ºC? (That’s -32.8ºF for my American friends.) Why, with a fab blazer by Nicolette Mason for Modcloth, heart shaped sunnies (I see you, Valentine’s Day!), a little LV, and the absolute most beautifully delicate and versatile piece of jewelry out there – the infinity chain, from Canadian based, bstrd.com
I mean, this piece is so badass!!! Not only is it crafted out of gorgeous, high end sterling silver and gold vermeil chain, adorned with precious little bobbles of opal and Swarovski crystal, but it can be worn in a multitude of ways to compliment any outfit for any occasion!
I tried out a a few different styling options with my infinity chain, and I honestly really loved how all of them worked out!
It looks so perfect worn as a full on body chain!
So please do go take a look for yourselves, because there are so many unique styles to choose from at bstrd.com; and although the sizes of body jewelry are listed as one size fits all, custom orders/measurements are welcome, and can be discussed with a quick email to: email@example.com, or in the comments section of your order!
Be sure to follow bstrd on Instagram, @imagineyoudidnt too, for even more styling inspiration and to keep up with what’s new!!!
I’m a very friendly girl. I don’t throw shade. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I avoid confrontation like the plague. I respect even my adversaries, and I don’t seek revenge… But sometimes you need to show your haters how wrong they are.
What I mean to say is… Sometimes a b*tch just needs to get put in her place!!! Haha!
They need Screw that! SHE needs to know that she will never be better than me because she has an ugly soul, and while she’s talking karma, she’s the one who karma just came back to bite. 😘 (I almost never use Emojis in my posts, but girl, this one’s for you!)
So don’t hate me because I’m beautiful (yes YOU, I know you’re reading this). Love me, because you tried to be me and failed, and that must mean I’m pretty fantastic. 😋 (Oops, there I go again! Hahaaa!)
You need to love how hot I look in this fabulous midi dress from Zelie For She.
Love how crazy dope I look in my earrings from Cristy Ellen K!
Love how sexy I look in the the most absolutely amazing plus size anklets ever, from Ready to Stare! (No but seriously, I know you you’re a fat girl too, so you might wanna know… Just tryna help tho!)
So ladies, don’t ever let anyone try and bring you down!!! Show them how much better you are!!! Rise above it at brush it off… But never be afraid to remind them how ugly their souls truly are, for that is the only way to help them. Let God take care of the karma!
In Haitian Creole we say ‘Wap konn Jòj cherie’ – you’ll get what’s coming to you! Actually, you just did. 😉 (Last one, I promise! Haha!)
Some plus size things are harder to find than others; and when it comes to body jewelry, it can be next to impossible to find something to fit our frames – or so I thought, until I discovered Canadian jewelry designer, Cristy Ellen K!!!
Not only is the body positive philosophy of Cristy Ellen K inspiring, but her pieces are just so freaking cool!!!
Wearing it brought out my inner glam-rocker chick, so I slapped on some winged liner (more like, very carefully applied, trying super hard not to screw up) and paired it with my favourite (my only) jumpsuit & denim jacket, from ASOS Curve, some cute black & gold flats, and a pale grey, vintage leather clutch, for a edgy look that made me feel so fierce that I’m actually a little embarrassed to admit how many pics I was giving my resting bitch face (AKA the stink eye) in. Hahaaa!
So check out Cristy Ellen K and see all the fab pieces she has to offer, and keep your eyes open for more of her pieces here on the blog!
An outfit is never complete without accessories, and I picked up a few beautiful, hand crafted pieces at local markets in Haiti, while I was there.
Haiti is filled with resourceful artisans who are capable of creating absolute jewels out of just about anything locally available. When setting foot into a Haitian marketplace you will find, among other things, accessories made of anything from discarded pieces of plastic, which are sculpted and polished into stunning rings and pendants, to wood, or even telephone wire, which is wrapped in string or ribbon to create beautiful bracelets.
These delicate shell necklaces and this gorgeous polished “kòn bèf” (bull horn) pendant were my finds, along with a gorgeous necklace and bracelet set made entirely out of hand strung seeds, which I will show off to you in a future post.
I’ve paired my natural, earthy bobbles with a basic black tank top and leggings from Addition Elle, a light peach colored, cap sleeve top from Forever 21+, which I’ve left open to flow in the breeze and graze my bountiful hips; and my trusty, nude, captoe flats from Payless, for a look of simple, casual perfection with an exotic touch – just right for adding a little Caribbean warmth to a damp, rainy Montreal afternoon.