So… I don’t do the tanning thing, and no matter the season, these are how my legs look; but I’ve never really noticed it, or thought to address it quite as much as I did the other day when I decided to expose my pasty-whites against a backdrop of snow.
See, I have a hard time with pantyhose. I honestly don’t know if there is anyone else there with this problem, but… The skin on the insides of my thighs is so soft and thin, that it actually seeps through the weaving of the pantyhose and I end up getting worse chub rub than if I had worn nothing at all. I’ve tried sizing up, I’ve tried different brands – nothing works. I’ve just accepted it. This is my hose-less life; and it is why you’ll see that I’m never wearing them no matter what the weather.
THERE! I said it!
I’ve actually gotten quite used to it, though. Despite my grandmother thinking I’m nuts, I don’t really get cold. Obvi I’m not choosing these types of outfits for activities where I will be spending any extended period in the cold outdoors, but barelegged, wintertime looks have been known to happen.
And my faux-fur vest from Addition Elle, which works so perfectly over this fab sheer, burgundy blouse which I scored at the BIG Deal Toronto, closet sale from fellow plus size style blogger, Jessica, of Clothes and Shit. What can I say, the girl’s got taste!
Be sure to check out Jessica on www.clothesandshit.com and don’t forget to follow her, @jesskuuh on Instagram!!!
I wear short shorts! I DO!!!
Before buying these adorable printed shorts from Forever 21+, I hadn’t worn a pair since gym class in my early teens. I had long believed, been told, and heard said that they were reserved for thin legged, gap-thighed ladies with no cellulite – that a girl like me had no business subjecting anyone to such a sight. But lately I’ve been feeling inspired. I’ve been seeing more and more voluptuous, curvy, plus size ladies breaking through society’s beauty barriers and rocking short shorts confidently, and I just had to try and get in on some of the action!
I have to say, it was not the easiest task… When you’re fat, your thighs tend to rub together while you walk and things can get a bit tricky. Wearing my shorts wasn’t as simple as I would have liked, but I found, once I stopped trying to pull them down constantly and gave into their short short length, the bunching at the crotch stopped being an issue. To my absolute joy (and moderate disbelief) I was actually able to wear them without looking like I had a banana in my pocket!!! (Or was I just happy to see you?)
But in case, due to body type or style, your shorts refuse to cooperate, there exists, a product called NoRiders, which I am now dying to try! The product consists of iron on and sew in strips for your inseam, which are apparently very effective at preventing shorts from riding up at the crotch. I will definitely be letting you know how they work out once I’ve gotten my hands on some!
Anyway, all fat girl, thigh rubbing, crotch riding (sounds like some new painful Olympic demo sport) aside, I felt amazing in my new shorts! I paired them with this great boohoo.com black, oversized t-shirt dress, (seen in cream color and styled differently in my older post “Winter Is Coming, And Coming… And Coming“) belted at the waist, and accessories like this beautiful statement ring from Forever 21, my favorite black turban from BABOOSHKA, and these amazing, inexpensive black and gold sandals from Walmart, to create the perfect boho-chic, summer look that works for anything from a day at the park chasing after the kiddies to a sun-filled afternoon on the lido deck with your glorious, dimpled upper thighs proudly on display, letting everyone know that you have the right to be cool and comfortable in the heat too!!!
I don’t know about you, and I know everyone is shaped differently; but depending on what I wear, I have, what I like to call “bumtum”. Bumtum, you ask?
Definition of Bumtum: noun \ˈbəmˈtəm\
When your tummy takes on the appearance of a bum when wearing clothes (usually pants) with a seam up the front, thus giving the impression that you not only have butt in the back, but one in the front, too.
So, now that that’s cleared up, lets talk about harem pants. They are everywhere, and have been trending for a while now. But I’ve been hesitating, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll understand, they can be a bit tricky, because not only are they high-waisted, they also have saggy fronts which can only accentuate your bumtum! That being said, don’t give up hope!!! With a little help from shapewear (which I briefly discussed my love/hate relationship with, in my recent post, “Fat Girl Problems“) and the right top or belt, it is possible to make them work!
When I saw these leopard print harem pants from Forever21+ I knew they would be a challenge, but I just wanted to try so badly!!! I quickly realized that they would be more difficult to wear than I had thought… My Spanx alone just weren’t cutting it. I had to break out the big guns and wear my faux leather peplum belt from Addition Elle, which I had nabbed about a year ago, but never really found the right way to wear. I had tried a couple of looks with it, but they just always looked off, somehow. Anyway, I figured it was worth a shot, so I went for it, and I think it was exactly what these pants needed! Since they have a very bold cut and pattern, and the belt is also quite a statement on it’s own, I went with a very simple black top, and black & gold flats to draw some of the attention away from my mostly disguised bumtum. I can’t say that I was able to hide it completely, but I definitely felt confident with the end result; and, who am I trying to fool, anyhow? It’s not like having a flatter tummy would trick anyone into thinking I’m skinny! Haha!
So my advice to you is, if you are a fellow bumtum sufferer, and are looking to try and get in on the harem pant trend: Always wear shapewear underneath, and try to find a great peplum belt, like this one, or a cute peplum top, which you can belt or wear on its own. The reality is, with just about every look, even if you think it won’t flatter your body, it never hurts to try, because you may actually be surprised with what you can do to make it work for you!
Yes. You heard me. Fat girl problems.
Now, while I have largely overcome my bad habit of criticizing my flaws and constantly putting myself down, that doesn’t mean I can’t indulge in a little self-deprecation in the name of a laugh from time to time; and while it can be hard to find humor in inner thigh chaffing, us fat girls have plenty to laugh about!
Now, I mentioned thigh chaffing. But in case you don’t know what I mean by it, I’m not talking a little redness and discomfort between your thighs because you’ve just run a half-marathon in short shorts… No. I’m talking ridiculously chaffed inner thighs, to the point of blistering all because you decided not to wear your Spanx under your skirt to the grocery store because you didn’t feel like taking the extra 20 minutes to wrestle yourself into them before leaving. And the love/hate relationship I have with Spanx is quite the conundrum. I love how they make me look, they protect me from the nasty chaffing, and, I don’t have to worry about my tummy flopping about should I *gasp* actually have to run for any reason.
Reasons I Might Run:
-Trying to escape burning building
-Trying to run from axe murderer
-Trying to beat someone to the last jar of Nutella
*(Notice I said “trying” because I’m not very fast)
But I hate the fight to get in them. I’m pretty sure trying to put on a pair of Spanx feels a lot like being born, only, instead of slipping through and breathing a sigh of relief, you just stop half way and stay like that for the next 8 hours. The actual process of putting them on is basically my cardio for the week. I start to sweat, my heart rate increases and when I’m done I like to reward my hard work with a shake. While they make me look sexy, there is nothing sexy about getting into them. My husband once innocently came into the room as I was fighting my way into a pair and I’m pretty sure I turned into a combination of Quasimodo and the girl in The Exorcist as I hissed and growled at him to look away. He hasn’t made that mistake again.
As tough of a struggle it is to get into my Spanx, nothing really compares to the feeling of getting out of them, though. What a liberating sensation! It feels like everything just falls back into place (because literally, that’s what’s happening), you get to scratch all those itchy red marks the seams left on you, and then take hot bath after a long day in restrictive shapewear. It’s positively glorious.
But bath time comes along with its own set of issues:
Fat Girl Bath Problems:
– Cold shoulders vs. cold legs
– Bathwater becoming cold behind you because your butt is so wide it creates a dam
– The tidal wave when you try to stand up to get out when bath time is done
*(I say “try” here, because there are times when getting up out of the bath looks more like a wet walrus trying to makes it’s way over a wall)
But once you’ve toweled off, put baby powder between your rolls, dried the bathroom floor of any spillage that may have resulted from the fat girl tsunami, and all is said and done… The reality is, whether we’re fat or skinny, we all have our problems; and I’d rather laugh about mine than cry. I won’t complain that my head just about hits the car roof when I drive because my butt adds an extra 8 inches to my height when I’m in a seated position, or that sometimes my belly honks at people when I’m trying to get out of the car; I won’t complain that my hairdresser told me that me that compared to my body, my head looks like a cantaloupe, and I won’t even complain that when I dance with my husband, and we turn around, he completely disappears behind me, like *poof*, and he’s gone! Nope… Because I like who I am!
I’m a fat girl. I have fat girl problems, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I know how to laugh at myself, I know how giggle at life’s little jests and I will fight you for the last cupcake.