I used to shy away from attention. I would keep my head down, avoid eye contact so I wouldn’t get noticed. I walked around like a ghost, somehow making my large, fat body melt into the background.
I went crazy for a while. I watched them be attractive, be desired, be lovable. I wondered what it would feel like to be lovable too. I thought surely, there must be no better feeling than that of being wanted.
I opened myself to any attention people payed me. I searched for it wherever I could. Just flaunt what you’ve got, they said, so I flaunted my fear of being alone.
They came running, saliva dripping down their necks, drawn by the intoxicating aroma of a woman who believes she is worthless. I let them abuse me, use my fears to control me. I let them break what was left of the girl with the pretty face and send me to my knees in a cloud of dust and broken dreams.
I watched myself become whole again, or arguably, for the first time, bound together with lead, only toxic if I let it in; and the colours, they were glorious, refracting the sunlight, swallowing the darkness, all the while changing any light that passed through, making it fascinating and magnetic.
When I rose to my feet, I was not the girl with the pretty face. I was the girl with the pretty colours, all shades of light bouncing off one another, emanating from the core of the body I once thought unworthy of shining.
My design, intricate. My pattern, complicated, but mesmerizing, and my colours, true and indelible.
Clutch, Aldo – similar
Shoes, Shoes Of Prey – design your own here
“That designer should be fired,” they said… “Not flattering at all,” they said… “Even the model looks unhappy to be wearing it,” they said… But what did Alysse Delassandro, designer (and said “unhappy” model) of the controversial Ready To Stare Convertible Cupcake Dress say…?
“Fuck you to flattering fat girl clothes,” and I couldn’t agree more!
I saw it on Facebook first, back around the time her holiday collection launched — the nasty comments, all because a designer dared to challenge society’s idea of what plus size fashion should be.
Even though I’ve learned not to be surprised by the closed-mindedness of people on the Internet, I couldn’t help but be a little bit shocked that so many plus size women themselves couldn’t see how empowering a statement this dress (which can also be worn as a skirt) truly was.
I get it though, I don’t feel this way personally, but I get it — we, as fat women, have fought so hard to wear form fitting clothes and be accepted by society, that the idea of wearing a piece that hides our curves seems scary — but it’s not.
In fact, it’s probably no more scary than the first time a fat woman wore a bodycon dress, which, newsflash — angry conformists everywhere probably had a problem with too!
What Alysse has done, is go up against the standard, which was once a controversy itself, and say, it’s time to forge further and conquer new territory in plus size fashion! It’s time to step out of these stagnant waters and allow ourselves to accept that we have a right to wear any style a thin person can, whether society deems it “flattering” or not!
All of that aside, I love this dress. I loved it even as my eyes were drawn down into vitriol being spewed in the comments section, and not just because I think everything Alysse touches turns to gaudy, yellow gold (in the most perfect possible sense, of course) but because it’s playful, bold, and one of the most couture plus size pieces I’ve seen this year.
So as it comes to a close, and we ready ourselves to stare 2016 in the face, I wish you all very happy holidays, as I prance through the snow in festive red, woven with gold, that, like its name suggests, looks good enough to eat!
Dress, Ready To Stare – here
Shoes, Shoes Of Prey, designed by me- design your own here
Necklace, Forever 21+ – old, similar
Shawl coat, Forever 21+ – old, similar
Wedding season is in full swing. Every weekend I see a blissful newlywed couple posing for their wedding photos along the water not far from where I Iive.
With, at the very least, a wedding or two to attend each summer, we inevitably scope out the dress scene!
Of course, it’s all about the blushing bride’s dress — obvi; and the handsome groom too… But I still like to make a statement. After all, you’re bound to bump into at least one ex, or common girlfriend who talked behind your back that one time, and whom you absolutely can’t stand, and now you need to look extra hot in front of — err… Maybe that’s just me…? *nervous laugh*
But anyway, there’s no harm in bringing your A game to a wedding, because let’s face it… At some point during the evening, at least some eyes will be on you!
Searching for the perfect dress can seem a daunting task, but that’s why I love Canadian owned (and internationally shipping) SexyPlus Clothing!
The owner (and absolute dollface), Stefanie (a plus size woman herself) has curated a wonderful collection of dresses in all styles to suit your wedding season (or any season) needs, so you don’t have to search. She just gets it.
This gorgeous and luxurious little black & white number is actually a convertible dress that can also be worn strapless. I must admit though, my favourite of the two is this classic halter style.
I paired it with a cute head scarf, cork wedges, and a vintage metallic mesh clutch that I thrifted (kachiiiiing) earlier this summer!
It’s chic, old world sexy, and perfect for a wedding, or any occasion!
So definitely take a peek at the selection over at SexyPlus! There are so many gorgeous dresses! Whether your style is elegant, or super sassy, you’ll be sure to find something that’s just perfect for you!
Dress, SexyPlus Clothing – here (also a available in white – here)
Bangles, Fashion to Figure – similar
Head scarf, Walmart – similar
I’d like to start off by saying that I garbage picked a park bench last Thursday and it has filled a void I didn’t realize I had, and now my life is complete… Aside from the fact that said bench will be appearing in most of the photos you’re about to see, this information isn’t really relevant to this post… I just felt like I had to tell you. I’m still pretty excited.
Immediately after I found it and hoisted it up into my truck (as a nosey neighbour stared me down – yeah that’s right, I’m taking it!) I called my mum because I couldn’t contain my excitement. It was 7 AM and I woke her from a dead sleep… I knew I would as I dialed too, I just didn’t care. I had to share my life changing news!!!
Me: “Mum!!! I just garbage picked a bench and it’s glorious!!!” My mother (in her telltale, throaty, where-am-I, I-just-woke-up [like this?] whisper): “What time is it?”
Anyone who knows her, knows that when she’s sleeping, you don’t wake the beast… Let’s just say that in that moment she had less interest in my bench than she had the time I called her to come rescue me at 1 o’clock in the morning that time my dog got sprayed by a skunk… But that’s what moms are for – always there for you when you need saving, or feel like bragging about how awesome a scavenger you are in the wee hours of the morning.
But there was much more than just my fantastic new (well, old) bench to celebrate over the weekend!
It was Mother’s Day, a time to celebrate all those times when anyone but your mum would have just hung up in your face… And, for us, that usually means brunch with the entire gang (my mum, grandmother, aunts & uncles, cousins – the works). As any other organized outing often goes in my family, it also usually means at least one of my kids will get mad at something and either threaten to stay home, or have me threaten to leave them there, and it did, but I digress…
All the standard mom/bratty kid stuff aside (they do make it hard for us to love them sometimes, don’t they) I actually had a fabulous Mother’s Day!
I had the most delicious smoked salmon eggs Benedict, spent time with the fam, and I looked hella cute too!!!
My Mother’s Day ensemble consisted of one of my fave new dresses – this completely adorable, floral T-shirt dress from ASOS, which is actually made from a wonderfully silky material, instead of the usual jersey, which was a pleasant and unexpected surprise.
I love it’s casual style and minimalist silhouette, and it paired perfectly with my cute, eye motif, espadrille flatforms (another ASOS find).
I topped my look off with thee freaking coolest gold chain necklace and dice ring from Ready to Stare, and threw some more bling on my fingers for good measure, then I got ready to be showered with gifts for being the badass mom that I am!!!
No seriously, I hit the jackpot! My daughter made me some pretty paper flowers! I got a lovely bouquet from my middle son. My little guy drew me a picture at preschool – and I quote: “Mum, you’re the fat one.” Gahhh, I love it!!! My oldest son gave me the rare gift of shooting my blog photos without complaining even once, when I said just a few more. Like… Not even an eye roll (okay, maybe one)…
And for the cherry on top of my Mother’s Day sundae, the hubby picked me out an amazing perfume (La Vie Est Belle from Lancôme – SOOO nice) aaand, because he was looking so fresh, agreed to pose for so pictures!!! Whaaaaat!? I know right!?
All in all, I can’t complain… I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I’m incredibly thankful for my family. They’re not perfect… My kids fight with each other (and me) like cats & dogs, my mum & grandmother both have a ridiculously well-honed ability to get under my skin, and my husband most definitely has his moments where I’d rather punch his face off instead of kiss it… But I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world, and I can only hope they feel the same way about me… Fingers crossed!!!
Dress, ASOS – here
Shoes, ASOS – here
Necklace, Ready to Stare – here
Dice ring, Ready to Stare – here
Hubby’s outfit, in case anyone’s curious:
Shirt, Forever 21 – similar style
Pants, Zara – similar
Belt, Coach – here
Shoes, ASOS – here
I’m a very friendly girl. I don’t throw shade. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I avoid confrontation like the plague. I respect even my adversaries, and I don’t seek revenge… But sometimes you need to show your haters how wrong they are.
What I mean to say is… Sometimes a b*tch just needs to get put in her place!!! Haha!
They need Screw that! SHE needs to know that she will never be better than me because she has an ugly soul, and while she’s talking karma, she’s the one who karma just came back to bite. 😘 (I almost never use Emojis in my posts, but girl, this one’s for you!)
So don’t hate me because I’m beautiful (yes YOU, I know you’re reading this). Love me, because you tried to be me and failed, and that must mean I’m pretty fantastic. 😋 (Oops, there I go again! Hahaaa!)
You need to love how hot I look in this fabulous midi dress from Zelie For She.
Love how crazy dope I look in my earrings from Cristy Ellen K!
Love how sexy I look in the the most absolutely amazing plus size anklets ever, from Ready to Stare! (No but seriously, I know you you’re a fat girl too, so you might wanna know… Just tryna help tho!)
So ladies, don’t ever let anyone try and bring you down!!! Show them how much better you are!!! Rise above it at brush it off… But never be afraid to remind them how ugly their souls truly are, for that is the only way to help them. Let God take care of the karma!
In Haitian Creole we say ‘Wap konn Jòj cherie’ – you’ll get what’s coming to you! Actually, you just did. 😉 (Last one, I promise! Haha!)
Whether you rang in the new year with friends or fam, watched the ball drop at home in your PJs, or danced the
night year away fuelled by endless cocktails, bubbly and hors d’oeuvres, one thing is for sure…
It’s 2015, y’all!!! Happy New Year to and yours!!!
As for moi, I said goodbye to last year and welcomed in the new one, in what can only be described as “mermaid sequins!”
The second this dress from Rum + Coke dropped, I knew it had to be mine! I mean… It’s a sparkly, mermaid coloured, bodycon… Need I say more!?
I paired it with a jewelled clutch from Aldo, and pointy metallic pumps, because New Years Eve is the only holiday where glittery overkill is the name if the game.
And just like that it’s full blown winter here in Montreal! Snow covered trees, fences, rooftops – it’s so beautiful this time if year… You know… Before the white, fluffy, powdery snow turns into one solid mass of greyish, crystallized, frozen waste…
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves… For now, it still looks like a scene from a good old fashioned holiday movie out there, and it has me feeling swell!
Movies like Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, and classic Christmas music, they have this magical, old-world, holiday charm about them.
When I see the snow sitting upon drooping branches, and smell the intoxicating aroma the neighbour’s wood burning stove, I feel some sort of imagined nostalgia for an era I was never a part of; and my new, pastel blue coat from ELOQUII channels my wistful affection for Christmases past with grace and elegance.
In in keeping with the theme, I’ve paired it with my gorgeous, pale pink, customized (of course) ruffled dress from eShakti, peep toe (yes peep toe) silver pumps from Aldo, a faux-fur, pillbox shaped hat from Forever 21, and a vintage, hand beaded clutch. A knuckle, and midi ring add a fresh, modern touch to this glamorous, retro style and take it into the 21st century.