When I was away in Haiti last August, I managed to sneak in one one photo shoot. I never published the pictures, but there’s a reason why…
Everything was perfect—my Monif C. fringed swimsuit, my ASOS sandals, and of course, my Ready To Stare body harness…
But the beach was exquisite, as was my beautiful fat bod in that suit, and honestly, even though I wore it wrong, the chain body harness actually looked pretty amazing this way too!
So, I decided to shoot some fab pics back home in Canada, wearing it the right way this time (Duh!) with a fab Kiyonna dress from SexyPlus Clothing, to show everyone that you can definitely have some fun playing around with body chains! We’ll just keep the fact that this was a totally unintentional discovery between us, though… K?
We can also keep the fact that it took me nearly six months to get around to shooting the second half of this post… Because procrastination is also my thing…
But it all actually worked out, because the contrast between my natural, freckled skin under the golden Haitian sun, and my ultra glam look, set against the backdrop of an icy frozen lake, is truly quite amazing!
And the discovery that this body chain is much more versatile than I had ever expected was a definite bonus!
Sure, I wish I was on a beach in Haiti again right now, after sifting through my vacation photos… But at least I know I have my body chain to add some pizazz to my swimsuits on my next trip, and until then, it can look just as awesome in the snow!
Body harness, Ready To Stare – here
Swimsuit, Monif C. – old
Sandals, ASOS – similar
Dress, Kiyonna from SexyPlus – here
Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here
Mittens, Little Burgundy – here
Dear woman who tried to shame my body today,
There are a few things I’d like to say to you — a few things that I think you need to know; and I will lace my words with an excessive amount of photos of my glorious bod in a hot pink, see-through dress and bright red bikini, because I think it would do you good to see more of the body you decided to pick apart on social media today.
As a blogger, in one of my weekly contributions to another blog, I was asking followers to help me pick between three outfits that I chose for an upcoming date night with my husband. I think I looked really cute in all of them, for the record — and, sometimes a girl just wants a little feedback!
I answered you so politely when you criticized body. I told you that “I love my belly, my big butt, and my cellulite, as does my hubby! They’re part of me — no need to hide them! 😊 It’s not about looking thinner. The beauty of body acceptance is learning to love our flaws! ❤️”
You’re welcome to disagree with my view points and clothing choices all you want, but never once did I mention anything about your thoughts on my outfits. I also didn’t get upset… In fact, I think I gave a pretty polite and friendly response that spoke only of how I wasn’t ashamed of my body parts that you seemed to feel weren’t attractive.
You, a plus size woman yourself, stated that you were entitled to your opinion, then proceeded to tell me that loving my body was a copout because I am too lazy to try to better myself and my health. (Really, you said it!)
When I, again very politely, explained that I am in very good health, and wished you would realize that your comment was judgemental and uncalled for, you said that I must not be as secure as I claim to be because I was being defensive and over-sensitive.
You went on to say that that you had balls, and stood by your opinion… And that I shouldn’t be a blogger if I didn’t like it — somehow believing that it is your right to police my body, call me names, be blatantly rude, and that, because I have a blog, I’m not supposed to call you on it.
Others jumped to my defence, but you attacked them too, and laughed at the whole situation, referring to a comment I had posted for someone else, explaining to them how taking back the word ‘fat’ had empowered me.
I politely excused myself from the conversation, stating that your perseverance was admirable, that you had so much potential, and I wished you could have used it to uplift your fellow women rather than tear them down.
Soon after, your comment was removed. Obviously nobody was in agreement with your insults disguised as opinions, and false sense of entitlement… So, my apologies if the events may seem a little out of sequence, because again, your comment was deleted, which took all of your, my, and everyone else’s carefully crafted rebuttals with it, leaving me with only my tear-filled (sarcasm, in case you didn’t pick up on that) memories to refer to. You are entitled to your opinion, let’s just get that out of the way so you don’t have to say it again, but I will not let you believe, when you attack my body and character then accuse me of being insecure when I respond, that I can’t see right through your smug facade, to a woman who is filled with self-doubt, insecurity, envy and fear.
I will also not allow you make me love myself any less than I did before reading your enlightening comments — in fact, they’ve made me love myself more! You see, when you show your true colours, and they’re dim, grey and muddy, they make mine shine much brighter.
What you thought would stop me really just propelled me forward, and reaffirmed how important my blogging truly is.
So what I’m really saying here, is thank you. Thank you for making me feel even more beautiful, secure, and important today.
I know your intention was to make yourself feel better by trying to bring me down, so I’m sorry (not sorry) that I couldn’t help, but I would gladly love to offer you a compliment if you ever decide to actually post a profile picture of yourself one day. I’m sure you have all kinds of beauty that you just don’t see when you look in the mirror.
And lastly, even though your attempts at hurting me failed miserably, I hope you come to understand that not everyone is as strong and confident as me. Not everyone will be able to take something wonderfully positive away from the experience of having a person try to publicly humiliate them; and not everyone will understand that your attempts at trashing their self-esteem, are really just projections of your own insecurities.
Bikini, Addition Elle – here
So! It’s been a minute, and for all of those who’ve been wondering what this fat girl has been up to, well, here it is!
I was away, on a very unexpected trip back to Haiti, under some very sad circumstances. My father-in-law passed away suddenly in at the end of April so we rushed to plan an extremely last minute trip in order to take care of funeral arrangements, and all that not so fun stuff that comes along with losing a loved one.
Everything went pretty smoothly and we said our final goodbyes, which was really tough on my husband; but he handled it with grace. After all was said and done, we found ourselves in serious need of some rest and relaxation!
If you want to relax, there really isn’t any better place than Haiti. I’ve said it before, in my blog post “Haiti Cherie“, and I’ll say it again – Haiti is my second home and a piece of me will always be there, no matter where I am, regardless of the fact that the sun & my skin, the humidity & my hair, and the heat & my sweat glands (TMI?) are not the best of friends, as you can probably tell!
But It just feels like time moves slower there, like the stress and the pressure of life somehow just fade into the feeling of a carefree Friday night, every evening of the week. Music in the streets, tasty treats for sale right at your car window as you make your way through the crowded streets of Port-au-Prince, along with chilled sodas, sugar cane, artwork, and pretty much anything else your heart may desire. You name it, and a local will tell you on which street corner it can be found! From fresh, sun ripened mangoes, to djon djon, dried black mushrooms grown only in Haiti, used to make a deliciously fragrant dish of rice and beans, just ask around and a smiling stranger will gladly point you in the right direction!
We visited with family, friends, and more family again! There were so many little cuties! It was great to see how they’ve grown and to meet some of the newer additions to the fam!
After some shopping in local markets to pick up some souvenirs for our kids at home, we were off to the beach! Destination Club Indigo – a beautiful beach resort located in the coastal town of Montrouis, along the Côte des Arcadins, one of the longest stretches of stunning, white sand beaches in Haiti.
There, we watched the turquoise waves roll, while we ate freshly caught lanbi (conch), a must if your visiting one of Haiti’s many gorgeous beaches. We sipped on ice cold Prestige beer, a locally brewed lager, Barbancourt rum, another must, and listened to the amazing sounds of a live twoubadou band playing in the distance.
Regardless of circumstances, Haiti has a rejuvenating quality about it. There, we were able to let our cares drift off with the tide, our worries fly away with the salty sea breeze, our stress get whisked away in the hustle and bustle of the city, our senses reignite with its delicious flavors, vibrant colors, and inviting sounds. We found our smiles again in Haiti, after saying goodbye to a man who meant so much to so many, and we came home, still with sadness in our hearts, but with new memories to cherish too.
This post is dedicated to my late father-in-law. Nap toujou renmen ‘w Boss Be!!!