Life is all about taking risks, overcoming obstacles, and breaking through barriers… But when self-doubt starts seeping in through those little cracks that a lifetime of being ashamed of yourself has left behind, it can be much easier said than done.
I’m not saying this because I’m in the mood to dish out life advice, but because my self-doubting thoughts almost got the best of me last week, and I know that so many of you beautiful people struggle with your own body image too.
I receive comments from my followers all the time, about how much they wish they could have my confidence…
So, I really wanted to remind you all, that even the most confident, body positive people still have those moments when it’s hard to love themselves sometimes, and you are sooooo not alone on those days when you look in the mirror and feel like you’re just not good enough.
The confidence you see in my pictures didn’t happen overnight. It is an ongoing process, and I never want any of you to think that it is unattainable or unreachable in any way.
I woke up on the morning of my shoot. I had planned out my whole outfit. I had actually been really excited about it, because it had been a while since I wore something a little more risqué.
The look was made up of four of the most fabulous, sexy, and empowering pieces I own — a black, gold studded, bodycon mini dress from Stylzoo, a stunning chain headpiece from Ready To Stare, my amazing thigh high boots from SexyPlus, and the most incredible black satin bomber from SmartGlamour, with custom lettering.
I began berating myself for having ever thought I could pull off such a sexy look. Who am I? A thirty-something, fat wife and mother looking like a hooker trying to show someone a good time…?
I fat shamed myself. I slut shamed myself… Two things that I am so strongly opposed to, and yet there I was, staring at my own reflection, picking myself apart and telling myself that I didn’t deserve to feel sexy, and that showing off my body somehow made me less valuable. I almost didn’t leave the house.
Then I thought of my Stylzoo dress, and how hard I have fought to love my legs and belly, and feel comfortable showing them off.
I thought of my boots from SexyPlus, and how fierce they made me feel the moment I stepped out in these first pair of thigh-highs I had ever found to fit my legs.
I thought of my headpiece from Ready To Stare, and how rad as hell it is, and how much of a sexy goddess it makes me feel.
And I thought of my bomber from SmartGlamour, and how excited I was when I was able to select the words “FAT GIRL” in big gold letters, to be displayed across the back, because I’m fat and proud of who I am!
The thought of how I had come so far to finally accept my body —myself, and feel good in the clothes I love, came flooding back, washing the doubt into oblivion.
And I decided, fuck what I think people might say about me, my body, and how I choose to dress it! I’m not going to let my self-doubt get in the way of me wearing the stuff I love, just because I’m worried about anyone’s judgement!!!
I went out and did my shoot on a busy street in late afternoon, looking fly as hell; and I just wanted all of you to know that even when you see my pictures and think it looks easy, I do still struggle with self-confidence, and I don’t ever want any of you to feel alone in that!
The important thing to remember, and I hope I can be an example of it, is never to forget how far you’ve come — how hard you’ve worked toward self-acceptance, or how badly you want it. You deserve to love yourself, and that’s what will bring you back to reality — and that reality is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that YOU ARE WORTHY.
Dress, Stylzoo – here
Customizable Bomber Jacket, SmartGlamour – here
Headpiece, Ready To Stare – here
Boots, SexyPlus Clothing – here
Blah… Another Monday. I suppose I should be happy I’m alive, that my family is healthy and comfortable, and that and that I was able to send my husband off to work, and my kids off to school with full bellies and full lunchboxes – which, don’t get me wrong – I am; but that doesn’t change the fact that the weekend was too short, the hubby was in a bad mood through most of it, and that mommy may have had a few glasses of wine last night and would prefer to stay in bed rather than make anyone a stupid tuna fish sandwich!!! Sorry. I needed to vent.
But alas, here I am, dressed and coiffed, with slight tuna breath, (I wasn’t about to waste the leftovers) and an even stinkier attitude. The silver lining to this dark Monday cloud – I look cute, though! Ha.
I figured, since it’s a little too early to be making magaritas out of my Monday morning lemons, (is it really, though?) I may as well turn my bitterness around with a great outfit! I often don’t put much effort into my appearance when I’m feeling like this, but since I have no choice but to be out and about, I’m making the best of it by sporting a couple of new acquisitions.
I had been drooling over this quilted denim bomber from ASOS Curve for a while, and when it finally went on sale, I snatched it up. I’ve paired it with a gorgeous nude, sequin tank by Love & Legend, that I’ve had for a while, a new black skirt from Forever 21+, taupe, t-strap flats, also from Forever 21, and a snazzy pair of rose gold statement earrings to complete the look.
I really enjoy mixing styles, and the dressy, sequin tank top, and skirt put together with the super casual denim bomber and flats just balance each other out so perfectly. And, balance is really the key to fashion; but it doesn’t end there. Life in general, requires a certain balance in order to run smoothly and not drive us crazy; and on days like this, finding that balance – that silver lining, is the only way to get out of the funk we are in (whether it’s justified or not) and realize that the sun is shining, and that the day is going to be okay.
Now, all I need is to make it out the door without my three-year-old wiping snot (or poop) on my skirt and I’ll be able to keep my nasty attitude in check…
Yay! The big day has come!!! What day, you ask? Why, the day I finally get to wear the incredibly sexy “Tricia” dress from Monif C. of course!!!
I’ve been obsessing over this dress since it was first posted in January for pre-sale, and I haven’t stopped coveting it since. At first I had reservations. I loved it, but wasn’t sure how I felt about the idea of a crop top. I know they’re all the rage right now, and I think they look super sexy, but I couldn’t cease thinking – how is a dress with a crop top going to look on the tummy of a mum of four who’s covered in stretch marks?
So, I went back and forth on the idea for a little while and then finally decided – so what if I have stretch marks!? I’ve been working so hard to accept my body and love the skin I’m in; am really going to let the insecurities I have about my stretch marks stop me when I’ve already come so far!? They are the product of carrying each of my four children in my womb – four little humans who depended on me, and still do, to live. They remind me of the sacrifices that I’ve made for my family and of how, no matter what happens, I gave life to four beautiful beings who are, and always will be a part of me and who I love with a love that is stronger than any other force imaginable. To be ashamed of my stretch marks is to be ashamed of my four greatest accomplishments and nothing about that makes sense.
In a way, this dress and my desire for it, somehow managed to push me to face a fear, to let go of my inhibitions and accept just one more aspect about my body that I had been insecure about. I don’t know if it was the fierce turquoise and tan animal print or the bodycon style that Monif C. dresses do so well, but it made me realize that this tiger momma has earned her stripes and I’m not gonna hide them anymore!!!
As much as I love color, there is just something so easy to me about wearing blue jeans with a black top. It’s definitely my comfort zone; but who doesn’t like to be comfortable!?
And while we’re on the topic of comfort, let me just take a moment to talk to you about Hush Puppies. These shoes are amazing! I could literally stand all day and not feel a thing in these (ok, not literally; but you know what I mean). This pair have a pretty little ruffle that I just love and they work so well into a casual daytime look. Paired with a flowy, black chiffon, peasant style blouse from Penningtons and a cute pair of skinnies from Addition Elle, rolled up to expose the great bright blue underneath which I just couldn’t let go to waste, these shoes are the perfect accessory to assure that I look stylish, relaxed and feel comfortable all day long.
Well… I couldn’t help myself. I went on a nail polish binge this afternoon. It’s been known to happen from time to time. They were all either really cheap or on sale (woohoo!) so I went a little crazy…
I have a few of the pricier nail polishes (and by pricey, I mean the 8, 9 and $10 ones) and they are great, but I’m finding lately that more often than not, it’s not worth forking out the extra cash, as the cheaper nail polishes are often just as good as the more costly ones.
First up is Sally Hansen Insta-Dri in 205 Pink Blink. I’ve been looking for a nice baby pink for a while now, but always ended up going for something less ordinary. So seeing as it was on sale for just under $4, I went for it! Yay!
Next is another Sally Hansen Insta-Dri polish in 350 Wined Up (good name, no?). It’s a shimmery shade and it’ll work well with this new vamp lipstick that I picked up a while back and am still not sure if I look good in or not. Ha.
Moving on, here is one that I am really looking forward to trying! It’s an NYC In a New York Minute Quick Dry polish in 270 Sidewalkers. It’s such a cool color!!! I mean, grey nail polish? Whaaa? SO EXCITED! And at around $2 – you just can’t go wrong. Plus, I can’t wait to test it out with the next item on my list; an NYC 274 Matte Me Crazy mattifying (is that even a word?) top coat.
Last but not least, a Maybelline Color Show polish in 305 Gilded Rose. It’s got tiny light gold sparkles as well as slightly larger rose gold colored ones. Very exciting indeed!
Be sure to keep an eye out for them in my upcoming posts!
I don’t know how to tell you this, but, I think I’m addicted… To animal print!
From the time I was a little girl, growing up in the 80’s & 90’s, animal print (often neon) was always considered a bold fashion statement. I always had somewhat of a fascination with it. It always felt like a very grownup print to me. It seemed as though only grown, powerful, beautiful women wore it, kind of like red lipstick or little black dresses.
What I was picking up on was real; and it’s funny because nobody had ever said it to me, I just drew the conclusion based on what I saw and how it made me feel and now I know why – animal print is sexual. It’s primal and carnal and raw; and although I didn’t yet have the understanding of such adult matters, I knew that animal print meant something way too grown up for me.
Needless to say, I guess my animal print fixation speaks a lot for how I like to be seen today – haha! But who doesn’t love feeling sexy!?!? We all need to feel desired, attractive and get in touch with our inner animal sometimes! Rawrrrrr!!!
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